. Just blog hopping form Toni. Take Care
Love ya, man!
Lately I have been so disgusted with our world. I cannot believe how sick people can be and the things they are into. Bike week just passed here in Florida and some of the stories of things that go on there just leave me with my mouth hanging open. My mind scrambles: "Can people really be like this?" "What are they thinking?". I mean just the thought of the diseases you can get from coming into contact with people let alone any sort of sexual contact, yuck.
It seems like everywhere I turn I am getting bombarded with pornographic material. I just can't handle it. It's everwhere. If I go look for a comment to leave on a friends myspace page I also have to go though tons of comments featuring half naked women some of them doing or posing questionably. It then pops into my mind that when my boyfriend looks for a comment that he has to sift through the same things. Sometimes on Comedy Central while on commercial I have to sit and watch "Girls gone wild" and other scenes with basically naked chicks and lesbian action. Yes they block out the more intimate parts of the body but when sitting next to my boyfriend it's the last thing I want to see or want him to see. It seems like almost every website you go to has some sort of provocative chick picture to get you to buy or join. I'm just so sick of it. Yes, alot of people would say it's because I'm insecure and I'll be the first to tell you that it's the truth. I feel so small when I think of myself being compared to those women. It doesn't matter I know that they are airbrushed and plastic. It doesn't matter that all the "hot" stars have dieticians and personal trainers.Men think of these fake women when they think of their fantasy and that's not what I am. It still makes me feel like crap. I cannot stand the thought of my man looking at porn. He doesn't and I trust him. He knows just how I feel about it and he knows that I would be very hurt if he did. Some of you don't mind if your man, woman, whoever, looks at porn but I think it's wrong. There are other people that feel just like me. I feel like it's a form of cheating. You are looking at someone intimately ( and fantacizing) and that is something that you should only do with your SO. I could go on and on about pornography but I won't waste my breath.
Another thing I can't stand is the news. Why do they always have to show the bad stuff? Don't you think that some of these people do the things they do because they get their "15" minutes of fame? Maybe if we talked about more good things then people would start doing more of them. I'm disgusted by some of the crimes people commit. I admit that I like to watch CSI, and Criminal minds but the thought that they probably got those case ideas from real life disgusts me. At least the shows I watch catch the bad guys.
I hear things come out of my brother and sister that I never thought I would. I see kids doing stuff I would have never imagined. I cannot believe how low the world has gotten and it disheartens me. Do I want to bring children into this world? I really do deep inside but it scares me to. I cannot imagine the things they will have to deal with or the things I will have to deal with. It bothers me to know that I have no control really and to a control freak that's a horrible feeling. I guess this is an internal struggle that I will have to deal with. Can I learn to ignore it? Will I just become numb to it all? I hope not. But I hope that it's something I can learn to deal with maybe in time. Because if not I might have to be put into a mental institution.
I guess I'm a little more liberal with my hubby and the porn. I'm overweight, but I'm totally confident (maybe even conceited). So when we watch, we watch together and it gets us both in the mood, but I don't necessarily mind if he watches without me. I don't know why. Maybe it is a form of cheating, but my hubby isn't necessarily into it as much as I am (I used to trade porn like baseball cards back in the day). Sorry to be so gross, just doing my normal "over-sharing" session. But I definitely hear what you are saying. I also know that my hubby loves big women, so he's got what he wants.