So my little chihuahua Bailey had knee surgery yesterday. It needed to be done and will probably have to bo done on his other knee sometime. His knee caps are slipping out of place and the ends up hobbling. It doesn't hurt him now but it can later. It's called Patellar Luxation. So I took him in yesterday morning and dropped him off. I cried the whole way to work. He was shaking when I got there with him and started shaking worse when I took him in. Then I had to hand him over to the lady and he just gave me the most pittiful look. So he had his knee surgery and also had 3 teeth pulled. Lukily I got to take him home last night. He was so out of it that all he really did was sleep. He was so out of it that he pee'd on me. LOL. But he has eaten and had some water. I have to give him medicine 2 times a day. He has about a 3 inch cut on his left knee. So today I stayed home with him because I knew that today would be rough on him too.

So here I am sitting on the couch next to the dogs watching Dr. Phil. LOL. I am doing some laundry though so I'm not being totally unproductive. I start class tonight so that will be a waste of 3 hours. LOL. Then tomorrow Eric has class and I'll be going to my parents house. I will probably take Bailey with me. Thursday I have class and I'm not looking forward to that class. The teacher is an arrogant ass. I've already heard plenty about him and he has already pissed me off in an e-mail. So hopefully this semester goes quickly.

This is totally off topic but do you think that moods and the way you are and perceive things is hereditary? I see myself acting more and more like my mother and in some aspects it's good but I'm also taking on qualities that I don't like. One of the main things is that I'm never happy or satisfied really. I always feels like there is something missing and I can't put my finger on it. I know in my head that my life is great and that I should be happy and appreciative but yet I'm still unsatisfied. My mom is the same way and she says her aunt is the same way. I think my grandmother is like this also. I just don't know what's missing? What do I need? What am I searching for? I guess maybe it will come in time but how can I stop wasting life today? I have no patience for things. I want things now and if I don't have them I dwell on it. I'm going to school to make things better but it's taking forever. I've been with Eric almost 2 years and we've lived together for over one and I'm feeling like "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" I know that's not what's on his mind but I feel like that sometimes. He just has a timeline in his head and he's sticking to it. I guess I just feel like I'm supposed to be further along in life than I am. I see everyone from school married and with children or thinking about children and here I am 26, still in college, and with a boyfriend. I just feel left behind. It's gotten worse since my best friend from high school came back in my life and she's pregnant. I'm happy for her but at the same time I keep thinking that we were supposed to do this together. But I got divorced and my life took a different path.

The other day I had a dream that Eric and I had a child and she was the sweetest thing. Just smiled and was a joy for my entire dream. The dream was so vivid too. Then when I woke up I was just down all day. I guess this is just my biological clock but it sucks. I know it's not the right time for children until I'm done with school but it's hard to control the emotions. Patience is a virtue and it's not one of mine.

Anyhow I hope that everyone is having a great day and that you have a great week.

Tagged you! You're it!

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