In high school I had a good friend and we've been friends since 10th grade. We had a little bit of a fall out after high school for about 2 years but then we were great friends again. Then I got divorced and that person stopped talking to me. So now 2 years later again we are once again talking. It wasn't my fault that we stopped talking this last time, it was her choice. In the beginning of this last "falling out" I was the one that attempted to keep contact. I would call her and she woulnd't pick up or if she did the conversation was quick. I would e-mail her and sometimes she would e-mail me back short responses or not e-mail me back at all.  So I finally let it drop until I found out she was pregnant a couple months ago. I just broke down and cried. I cried because we were supposed to go through all that together and I cried because I feel left behind. So I ended up e-mailing her and telling her congrats. So no we're talking again and it feels good. We talked about what happened and I sort of understand why she stopped talking to me but not really. But it's all in the past and I'm willing to forget it.

But as I look on her myspace I notice that I am beneath another girl who my friend is friends with. Now I'm not one of those girls that gets jealous if one of my friends has other friends. What gets me is that this girl just started hanging out with my friend like 3 or 4 years ago when I was still around and I guess since we had that "falling out" she has become more important to my friend. Which is fine. But what gets me is that the falling out was not my fault and I almost feel like I'm being penalized or being shut out because I haven't been around for the past 2 years. I guess I'm just being a girl and venting.

I've never really felt like I had a close girlfriend. They have always backstabbed me or I always felt like I was fighting for their attention. Which is why I've never had alot of friends. It's just too much trouble. It's not that I don't yearn for a friend like that but I don't think I'll ever have it.

I did make a new friend in class Fall semester and she's great but she has alot of friends already and I feel that if we didn't have class together we wouldn't talk as much. I guess I start to feel like a freak sometimes. Even my friend Mandee who all she does is work and hang around with her kids has stopped calling me as much. Now I tend to call her and the only time she calls me is when she needs something. I guess I just get treated this way because I'm the type of person that will do anything you ask of me if I can do it. Which I usually do everything that is asked of me. I just don't know what to do I guess.

I will just have to come to the realization that I'm not meant to have close girlfriends. But I guess it's ok because I have Eric.

Hey Elise. Sorry you're going through this nonsense. Sometime folks fall at the wayside for whatever reason and I totally understand where you'e coming from but don't forget there are millions and millions of other people who would love to have you as a friend. You're a great person and if one won't appreciate you, believe me, someone else would, in a hearbeat. Don't fret too much. Yes, you miss them and shoot, what gives?! Right? Yet, you'll develop new friendships. I'm learning that now. Cheer up buttercup! :)

Thanks Joy!! You are too sweet.

You have me even though we don't get to hang out! Anytime you need me, you know I am here since I don't go anywhere (lol)!